The Bible: “Hello Newbie”

Newbie: “Stop calling me The Newbie … I’m the Bible too you know?”

The Bible:No you’re not … you’re a fraud … you’re a God robber … and I’ll tell you why at the end!”

The Newbie: “Go on then … try your hardest!”

The Bible: “Let me ask one question … why did you translate the word “Jesus” as “Joshua” in
Acts 7:45?

The Bible says …

Which (the tent tabernacle) also our fathers that came after (in the desert) brought in with Jesus into the possession of the Gentiles (Canaan) … ”
(Acts 7:45)

The Newbie King James says …

“Which our fathers, having received it (the tent tabernacle) in turn, also brought with Joshua into the land possessed by the Gentiles (Canaan) …”
(Acts 7:45)

The Newbie: “Dear Grandad, man … You are so out of touch … here are six solid reasons it was Joshua, not Jesus, who led Israel into Canaan.

1. The Bible says it was the physical man, Joshua, that led physical Israel into Canaan … therefore it can not have been Jesus (Deuteronomy 3:8)

2. But Joshua was a type of Jesus … not actual Jesus … as Jesus had not been born then.

3. Furthermore, Israel had no idea of the future Jesus to come.

4. 99% of theological scholars would agree it was Joshua … even though the Greek text says ‘Iesou’ … which is Greek for Jesus … but it can’t possibly have been Jesus … the context simply won’t allow it.

5. It was a careless mistake … an unintentional error … by the 1611 translators. 

6. The versions are unanimous … The Bible is wrong … YOU ARE WRONG!

The Bible: “Mmmmm! Alright Newbie, turn to
1 Corinthians 10:4 …
And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.”
(1 Corinthians 10:4)

Who’s that then?

The Newbie: “Well … er … it’s Jesus the Rock … but not him as an actual person.  

The Bible: “The Bible does not say that … it simply says that Jesus was with them … and that Rock was Jesus!

Would you agree then that Jesus was with Israel?”

The Newbie: “Well … yes … I guess so.”

The Bible: “Further, the Bible does not say that Jesus led Israel into the land … it was Joshua.

In fact, it was the opposite … Jesus followed them … as stated ….

“ … that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.” (1 Corinthians 10:4).

So Newbie, here are the facts from the English …

1. Jesus was with Israel going into Canaan

2. Everyone assumes that Jesus led Israel into Canaan … which he didn’t … he followed.

3. The correct word is “Jesus” not “Joshua”

Now this is why you are not a Bible:

You have downgraded Jesus!

You have not given him his glory!

You have eliminated him from being with Israel in the desert!

You have taken Jesus out of The Bible.

You are Rome’s pride and glory in getting Christians to doubt me … The Bible … you are a wonderful servant of Rome!

You are a cloud without water … a tree with withered fruitwithout fruittwice dead and plucked up by the roots (Jude 1:12)

As Christ said to Peter, get behind me Satan …

“But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” (Matthew 16:23).

This is why you are a version … derived from the Latin ‘vertero’ meaning ‘a turning’.

Yes, you have turned from the truth ... you bear briars and thornsonly fit for burning.

“But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned.” (Hebrews 6:8)

“Am I being too harsh Newbie? Tut! Tut! Run home to Mummy … Mother Church!”

Harley Hitchcock
July 2024

This website’s front page is:



(Part 1 of 3)


Australian Bible Ministries, PO Box 5058 Mt. Gravatt East 4122 Qld, Australia