Q: “THE CALVINIST’S TWO FAVOURITE WORDS?”

A: “DEPRAVITY” AND “GRACE” 

Yes Dear Reader, that’s all they can talk about.

With the sincerity of a circus clown, the understanding of a squashed rodent, and the desire for knowledge of an extinct trilobite … our Calvinist ‘luminaries’, have the audacity to inform us about what is meant by being “dead in trespasses and sins” and “grace”.

Yes amazing isn’t it … two topics of which they know nothing about … even if they were bitten on the nose by each of them … ten times a day and fifty times on Sunday.

But can we blame them? Of course not … why?

The proudful Calvinist has ALREADY invited the king of pride into their own prideful mind.

Calvinist: “Come on in” the Calvinist says “make yourself at home.”

Satan: “Mmmm! Thank you very much dear Calvinist” Satan says “this is a comfy little dwelling for me. I like it here. We have the similar interest of cutting Jesus down to size.”

Satan: “Being a Calvinist … it means you are a closet Roman Catholic … and as such … me and you need to revere our Master Augustine.”

Calvinist: “Like what?”

Satan: “We’ll change dead in trespasses and sins to total depravity.”

Calvinist: “How will that help?”

Satan: “Total depravity changes man’s external legal problem with the law to an internal moral one … you know … man has to get morally fixed up inside first … before he can become legally acceptable to God.”

Calvinist: “Nice one!”

Satan: “And the second … will be to change the King James Bible’s extrinsic meaning of imputed grace … to mean imparted grace … internal infusion … you know … imparted grace needed before salvation.”

Calvinist: “Won’t people be awake to this lie?” 

Satan: “Nah! Not today … they’re flat out breathing … getting through the day … no-one’s got time. No-one’s got a clue these days about what the Bible says … as the song goes “The churches are all crowded but no-ones got a clue”.

“Pauline sound doctrine is not their go. They go to church … slap their money down … and slurp up whatever drink is served.”

“Dead? … depraved? … imputed grace? … imparted grace?

No-one knows … and who cares?

Harley Hitchcock
December 2025

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  A CONVERSATION BETWEEN
 CALVINISM AND SATAN” 

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