“I HAVE DIFFICULTY MAKING FRIENDS”
“I HAVE
DIFFICULTY MAKING FRIENDS”
Dear Reader,
if you are a Christian,
and this is your desire, maybe it would be a worthwhile thing to
reconsider.
Yes, friends
are a nice thing to have,
however there are friends and then there is Christian fellowship. Some
Christians have lots of worldly friends, half friends, ‘half
Christians’ but
have no fellowship with them. Why? Their desire to have friends
and not
be lonely, has taken precedence over the Lord’s concern that they
should be
witnessing to their lost friends.
Let’s take
Jesus and Paul for example,
the former being in the situation, whereby the Jews, all bar his mother
and a
couple of others, put him on the cross … not too many friends there.
Furthermore,
Paul had ‘everyone’ leave
him before he was beheaded. In both cases … where were their friends?
Exactly!
But they had had plenty of fellowship with the right sort of
fellows,
along the way.
Dear Reader,
Paul’s and Jesus’ prayers
were not about getting friends, but about being friendly so that could
preach
the truth! In fact, the opposite became reality … they made countless
enemies.
So maybe Dear
Reader, your prayer to
God could be this “Dear God, please make me friendly so that I
can
witness to others.” Now that’s a prayer worth praying.
Jesus was a
man approved of God with
signs, wonders and miracles to the common man … that is … Jesus was
being friendly,
so that he could open Israels’ ears and eyes of understanding, so that
he could
preach them the truth … that he was God manifest in the flesh (1Timothy
3:16) …
and that he would keep the impossible rules of the Sermon on the Mount
perfectly on their behalf. Of course, they stoned him, not for good
works, but
he being a man, and forgiving sins, made himself God (John 10:33).
Furthermore,
Paul would have proved
himself friendly as a tentmaker, and not overcharging his
clients and so
on. Why? To be friendly in order to preach his gospel (2 Timothy 2:8).
So Dear
Reader, you can see the
difference between having friends and being friendly … you can have
plenty of
friends but be absolutely worthless when it comes to serving the Lord.
Put it
this way, I guarantee if you get plenty of friends, they will all soon
leave
you, because they do not want to hear about the fact they are sinners …
and one
heart beat from hell.
Look, if you
just want to make friends
… there has been 30,000+ books written on the topic, go and get a few
of them,
study up … and Hey Presto! You’ll have more friends than you can shake
a stick
at.
“If you died
tonight, where would be …
heaven or hell?”
“If you
thought you would be going to
heaven, why would God let you enter?”
I mean you can
ask people these
questions straight up, but it’s probably wiser to relax a person first,
so they
let down their guard, make them laugh a bit and so on.
1. Look
pleasant … put on a cheerful face …
not too cheerful as there is a lot of heartache, pain and misery out
there …
you can put people off before you start if you know what I mean?
2. Start by
saying to a complete stranger
sitting down at a shopping centre … remember they are lonely … they
want a
friend or someone to be friendly with as well … just sit down, not too
close to
them of course and begin with some /small talk’ like …
(Please!!!
Don’t start with “I’ve just
had a bowel operation!” … that is of course the Lord leads you to say
this.)
Start with
something neutral like …
“How’s it
going?”
Wait for some
sort of answer, and
answer something like
“You got a
point there.” … agreeing
with them. This is how you start a conversation.
You could say
something like …
“I like your
shoes, where did you get
them?”
or
“That’s a nice
jacket. Where did you
get that, if you don’t mind me asking?”
or
“I’ve seen you
down here before. I
come for the coffee. How about yourself?
or there’s the
old standard
“It’s hot
today. Hope we get some
rain.”
It’s called a
conversation … it’s two
a way thing … don’t talk about yourself too much, or your wonderful
kids, or
the intricacies of your last bowel operation.
Keep it
friendly, keep it light.
3. Above all …
be a good listener… and ask
appropriate
questions.
Let them
impress you!
Say stuff like
…
“OK! That
sounds interesting!”
“I didn’t know
that?”
“Amazing!
Where did you learn that!”
“Nice watch!
How long have you had
that?”
4. Then ask
this “By the way, may I
ask you a personal question?
People will
generally say “Yes”.
Do you now
why? They are relaxed.
Then ask “If
you died tonight, where would
you be … heaven or hell?”
Then wait for
a response, then ask
“And why would
God let you into
heaven? Why would you go to hell?”
It takes
practice. It’s like playing
sport, the more you kick the ball, the better you get at it. You don’t
get a
fitter body just sitting at home eating chips. No, you get into the gym
and put
your muscles under strain. It’s the same with being friendly.
Stop being so
concerned about yourself
and self-centered, sins of course, and get out there today and just
have a go.
“For God hath not
given us the
spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2
Timothy
1:7)
“A new heart
also will I
give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will
take away
the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of
flesh.” (Ezekiel
36:26)
“Therefore if
any man be in
Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away;
behold,
all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Your prayer?
“Dear Lord, I
just don’t want friends, but I want to be friendly, so that I can
witness to
others about the Lord Jesus Christ. Please help me … I have been so
wrapped in
the sin of thinking about me, that all I’ve wanted is friends. Lord,
instead of
having friends down here, I want to be called a friend of God like
Abraham.
Please help me. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Amen.”
Dear Reader,
be encouraged
with the following:
“And the
scripture was fulfilled which
saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for
righteousness: and
he was called the Friend of God.” (James 2:23)
“Ye adulterers
and adulteresses, know
ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever
therefore
will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” (James 4:4)
Yes, Dear
Reader, you can be a friend
of God and still be friendly to others.
Harley
Hitchcock
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